In a Norma Desmond End

My last and short article is an apology. I know some of people expect me to recount the scariest things, the bloody events and unsolved crimes like that…

That was my intention, I swear! I was motivated by the ghost of Norma Desmond in “Sunset Boulevard”, persuaded that, in Hollywood, the most horrible crimes was nevertheless beautiful and spectacular. My first article matched with the original purpose. The combination was perfect: A director, his pregnant wife and satanistics murderers. But if you google “Sharon Tate murder” you’ll find others pictures that the one I’ve choose. These images are simply disgusting and made me a voyeur.

In the same time I realized that the most interesting part of my work was to make laugh with unlikely situations or insinuating. We have no rights to judge Woody Allen or Tom Cruise. All the more that they must be evaluated on their work instead of their private life. If it’s funny, then we can talk of it. And it’s always funny.

Got Yourself a Gun

Hollywood is full of clichés. Therefore, everybody tries to get closer to the community they belong. In the case of our two protagonist, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, it means being familiar with “typical Italian corporations”.

Francis Albert Sinatra and Dino Paul Crocetti are both children of Italians immigrates families. Franckie started his carrier as a Jazz singer whereas little Dino was, in a first place, part of comic duo with Jerry Lewis. That was during the late 30’s and the 40’s. They were just two descendants of Italians like others. They were very successful and meet each other in the “Rat Pack”, a band composed of the most famous singers of the moment.

At the origin, “Rat Pack” was a bunch of friends in Hollywood, led by Sinatra and Humphrey Bogart. The second “Rat Pack”, which we are talking, was founded in Las Vegas in 1960. At that time, Vegas was the Mafia shelter. They were mostly preoccupied of rising founds and supports for the JFK campaign. Funny isn’t it? Even more funny considering of the machine they got behind them: Sinatra has always been a great Democratic fan but also a Mafia friend.

During the 30’s, Frank Costello (friend with Lucky Luciano, inspiration of the character of Vito Corleone) helped Sinatra getting a name. La Cosa Nostra understood the importance of show business since the very first years. His role in “From Here to Eternity” was motivated by the same Wise Guys. It’s finally with their support that he was nominated great fan of JFK.

Once he was elected, John Fitzgerald took his distance with the “Rat Pack”. His brother, Bobby, was fighting the organized crime. The band was down in the dust while Vietnam War and Hippies movement made crooners part of history.

TomTom

It’s such a pity, we haven’t talk about religion yet! God, money and sex are the three most important things in…Hollywood (and life of course). I know, I know, its sound easy but I’ve choose the funniest case of the time to illustrate this topic: Tom Cruise.

It’s useless to present him but, thanks to Wikipedia, I can tell you that he was born on the 3 of july 1962 at 3:50am (which can be important if you believe in strange things like him. who knows?).

His course is typical and more interesting than his filmography (excuse me top-gun fans). Instead of doing the actor studio like everyone (Vin Diesel or Jason Statham for example) he did his studies in a Franciscan monastery. Considering that he was not so bad physically and that acting brings you plenty of girls, he might have change his mind.

Talking of girls, Tom is pretty lucky. He was married to Mimi Rogers during 3 years. Once she introduced him to the scientology church, he left her for…Nicole Kidman. Such a poor fellow. After 11 years of marriage, Nicole abandoned him because she wanted her children to be breed in a catholic way.

What’s Scientology? For the first time (I know, I’m sometime too lazy and I prefer photograph than videos, what a shame!) I suggest taking a look at the story of scientology explain by… South Park. A memorable episode where Tom stands in Stan closet crying…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R_mLFXDdCM

Original Fat Gangster

Let’s talk about history. Every diarist has to know the classics facts, the bases of every story.

In our case we get back to a time where people had to leave without Facebook, Starbucks and Lady Gaga (I know, it’s hard to admit…).

Roscoe Conkling Arbuckle, AKA Fatty Arbuckle, was one of the most famous actors of silent films in Hollywood (imagine that: boring and dusty movies in black and white, and no chance to find Robert Pattinson in one of them.
He was born in 1887 and was intimate with Buster Keaton, friendly and professionally. He also worked with Chaplin or Laurel & Hardy. He get really famous in 1921 because of the first Hollywood scandal (finally, we get to the point).
The 5th of September, he organized a party at the St. Francis Hotel. The Actress Virginia Rappe (providential name) was found, 4 days later, dead. Fatty was inculpated for murder . He was suspected of rapping and killing. After 3 trials he was finally declared innocent. It was unfortunately too late for him, his carrier was over.

This story represents the first affair of Hollywood, showing that even the most powerful actor of the United States can be destroyed by Medias and rumors.
A mentor for our blog protagonists then.

Seoul Lolita

Car crashes, prostitutes, satanic insanities…what next? Pedophilia of course! Not the basic one! The enhanced kind:

Everybody knows Woody Allen, this little anxious man, wearing beige shorts and stripped white shirts (too big for him) stammering all the time and making Jewish jokes, which makes only your parents laugh (For those who don’t remember Jewish humor is when “it don’t deal about sausages and it’s not funny”. Hubert Bonisseur de La Bath.)
After two terrific marriages (with Harlene Rosen and Louise Lasser) he decided he could never get engaged anymore. He shared his life with the actress Diane Keaton (well-known as Annie Hall) for ten years, after which he fell in love with Mia Farrow.
Mia Farrow, a great child breeder, collected 16 children from everywhere. Conforming to his wish of making a whole football team with them, (including substitutes) she adopted a large part of them. Soon-Yi Previn is an example of that phenomenon. She was adopted by Mia and one of her husband André Previn, a German composer.
Mia left Woody when she discovered his attraction for Soon-Yi (no, it’s not a soap summary!). A true release for Woody, who now enjoys freely his love. Soon-Yi is 35 years younger that him.

Fast and Furious prequel

What do Grace Kelly and James Dean have in common? Although they were a source of sexual fantasy for a lot of kids, they shared another thing: we’re not sure they had their driver's license.

For those who were too young, James Dean was the handsome kid, well-known for his appearance in “Rebel Without a Cause” or “East of Eden” and other movies for disturbed teenagers of the 50’s. He would nowadays play in Larry Clark or Gus Van Sant movies, skating and smoking instead of drinking milk from the bottle before playing with his knife.
Grace Kelly was the beautiful princess, driving without watching the road in Hitchcock’s “To Catch a Thief” talking to the gorgeous (but unfortunately for the half of the world, gay) Cary Grant. She married the prince “Rainier de Monaco” (Raynié deu Monayko in her mother’s tongue). A mysterious decision considering the type of men he was.

In the little world of Hollywood, car accidents are a common thing. Since the 4L and Lada shortage, Sunset Boulevard stars have few choices in choosing a car and can only drive Porsches or Ferraris.
Our two poors kids loved to drive : James Dean used to take a fast ride in Los Angeles and the little princess enjoyed her beautiful cars throught the French Riviera. Hitchcock and Nicholas Ray gave them the role of their life : Jimmy played a fast and unconscious young man, doing races on the hill. He died a few months later in a car accident while he was driving his Porsche to get to a race in Northern California.
Grace Kelly was the rich heiress, courted on the boardwalk. She ended like her character in Monte Carlo but she used to drive in studio and she could hardly take a ride in the Riviera mountains. In 1982, she get off the road when she was returning in a Rover to her beloved husband.
Don’t try it a home kids.

Mon Oncle Charlie Sheen

The main character of "Two and a Half men" ("mon oncle charlie" in Molière's tongue) is far away from the image he brings through this hilarious show.
Charlie Sheen, also well-known for his contribution in Hot Shot, has a tourmented wife. Life i mean. Both in fact.

He married the actress Denise Richard in 2002 and waited only three years to get away from her.
In December 2009 he was arrested in Aspen, a famous ski resort, because he unfortunatly hit his new wife Broke Mueller. They get divorced one year later.

Considering that married life is way too complicated he recently chose an easier life. He now devotes himself to porn acteresses, whom he had always liked. Ginger Lynn, Heather Hunter, Capri Anderson and Bree Olson share with him his passion for movies.

Roman Polanski

Before he became famous in Europe for his affair with a young girl years ago, Roman Polanski was well-known for the incredible vendetta he provocated with his movie, Rosemary's Baby. In 1968, he made his second movie talking about a strange sect leaving next door to Mia Farrow. Adapted on Ira Levin novel, the movie showed how she got pregnant with the strangest child ever : that of Satan. Rosemary's Baby is often considered of the first satanic features of Hollywood. But it doesn't mean that it made everybody happy.

While he was preparing his next work in London in 1969, Susan Atkins, Patricia Krenwinkel and Charles "Tex" Watson, three members of the Charles Manson's sect, entered into his wife's property on Cielo Drive, Los Angeles, California, United States of America, Earth, Universe. Sharon Tate (Roman Polanski's wife) was an American actress, pregnant and 26 years old. She and her guests were murdered. An inscription was left on the residence gate : "Pig" written with Sharon Tate's blood.


Roman Polanski next film was an Shakespeare adaptation. Certainly more prudent...